No doubt

Yesterday (technically anyway cause it's now 2:32 am so I guess it's Sunday already)I woke up feeling like shite but made a conscious effort to "get on with it". To be honest, I think my good mood(please take that with a bag in fact trailer of salt) was because of my friend TCF. I spoke to him for AGES and as far as I'm concerned God sent him to me. He listened and didn't judge. He made me know that no matter what happened, it will be OK. He made me consider the thing that is most likely the main issue with S...Drama! He made me feel like it's OK to still be in love with S, but most importantly he listened.

Sent S a text saying "This is too hard", when he woke up he replied that he knows we deal with things differently but basically he is there for me. I can't imagine even having a normal conversation with him and I already know where we both stand so there will be no point discussing our issues. I replied saying nothing is basically going to change and that things will get easier soon. He replied again saying he is sorry he did not deal with things sooner or notice the warning signs but that he is there for me. Not being funny but I don't understand that, as in it's not like I can call him and tell him how much this makes me feel like shit. It will just make both of us uncomfortable. I called him to get the last thing bothering me off my mind,I apologised for bringing any of my drama into his life. Yesterday when we had our mini relationship autopsy he made it clear that our personalities both attract drama and that is why we are not compatible. I disagree with the way he has chosen to deal with things but we are different and I HAVE TO accept that he feels I had too much drama.I apologised not because I intentionally brought drama but because that is the last thing I wish for or hope to bring into anyone's life inadvertently or otherwise. I can't even go into the specifics cause that will just be LONG. On this issue we are on very different planets. He explained that drama seems to find me and his personality just doesn't go with that. I saw warning signs that this would be an issue but of course I was in love and ignored it. I feel stupid for really believing that I was being given a break and that I had found someone that could deal with what it takes to be my man, someone who would understand that unfortunately I've been misunderstood for most of my life and it's a slow process to reverse that. What was I thinking? Anyway it's really clear that we are done and dusted. I don't feel like talking about the trip now, I figure there is no point. I might as well figure out a way to pick up the pieces instead of reminiscing about things that are now nothing but distant memories.